So life lately has just benn "eh", if that makes sense. Paul is once again looking for a new job. We've both run out of patience for his current employer to hire him full time. So back to intensely searching we go. I'll be honest, I'm really struggling. I'm struggling with trying to not bank all my happiness on this full time employment business. I'm trying to not let my mind cloud with worry of things like "will he never get a new job?" Or "will I always have to work full time in order for us to make ends meet?" Or the other no good thoughts of "how come they got a good job right after they graduated and we didn't?" "Why does everything seem to be going perfectly in their lives?"
Trust me, I know that letting those thoughts in(plus a numerous amount of other types of comparison throughout the day) never helps me feel good. At all. So why is it so easy to let them in? And let them stay? I get in this horrible compare mode and feel like so much of my life is lame and frustrating and forget to count my many, many blessings.
So I'm working on it. Because I know I have a lot to be grateful for. We all do. If you're reading this and you've nodded your head because you know you've also struggled with compare mode, I would love to hear your ways on getting out of it. New perspectives are always refreshing.
One thing that's been a lifeline to me lately is listening to conference talks every morning while I get ready for the day. I have an app on my phone that has almost the past ten years of talks on it. I'm currently listening to the October 2007 sessions. It's made a huge difference in how my day starts and how I feel for the majority of the day. I'm really loving it.
And now here are a few photos from stuff lately:
Little niece Elena really liked the cake we had for mother's day at Paul's parents. She and I are friends now.
Remember how a year ago I bought an old dresser from an consignment shop that was missing two drawers and I planned on refinishing it? No? That's ok. Because now, a year later, it's finally ALL DONE. Paul finished making me the last drawer on Saturday. Yay!!
Andrea had a dance competition at Lagoon a couple weekends ago. Mom and Jodee came down to support her and so did I! She did awesome and it was fun to catch up with the fam.
And there you have it.
tara!
ReplyDeleteI never comment on blogs so consider yourself lucky! HA! but i just wanted to comment on the whole "compare yourself to others than feel sucky" thing cause we have all been there! my older brother ben has a terminal illness and is AMAZING (maybe I'm biased?) anyway, his wife posted a talk he gave in church on her blog a few weeks ago. it is truly inspiring and really changed the way that i view my life, so if you get a minute, check it out at thruthedeepwaters.blogspot.com. by the way, i wish you had facebook!
Ahhh! You HAVE to show another picture of that dresser you did! It looks sooo cute, and yes, I remember when you posted about it before! I am about to do a dresser and will probably just do white, but yours looks so beautiful! What kind of paint did you use? How did you paint it? Details!
ReplyDeleteAlso, I think we all get in the compare mood sometimes. It is hard to avoid and usually leads to us feeling awful. I'm not really sure how to deal with it, except for the remember that you never see the whole picture of someone elses lives. Even if they look perfect from the outside, you never know what is going on that they aren't sharing. I've learned that even the perfect looking people have problems. That always helps.
P.S. I can't believe that your little sisters are getting so grown up!
P.P.S. Tell Paul good luck on the job hunt! I know how you feel. We had multiple times when Brooks couldn't get a job or didn't know what to do. It was terrible, and probably the lowest (and most trapped in our situation) I've ever felt. He even said he didn't know if he wanted to work in the field he was studying.... just one month shy of graduating! (He did finish, and then went on to a masters degree in something similar but more enjoyable). Anyway, all this is to say, it will get better! Just hang in there during the tough times!
Hello friend. I miss ya! You have no need to compare, you're awesome and amazing. But I know what it feels like when we do. A couple years ago I realized I was doing way too much of it and it usually happened when I read strangers blogs and even some family members blogs. I would read these "lifestyle" blogs and have the same questions you have. One day I guess I had just had enough and realized these are not the normal lifestyle! It's not mine and not anyone's I know personally so why am I bothering to look at them and compare myself to them. Isn't there some rule about it taking 7 days to break a bad habit or something like that? Well I did that. I just didn't allow myself to look at any blogs that made me feel unhappy after reading them. I think it took more like two weeks but after that I just didn't care anymore and stopped reading. It was awesome. And I feel better. I'm happy with how my life is. And in the end, life is just a quick little trip. It won't matter when I'm dead if I had a super cute outfit on and took a good picture of it to show the Internet world
ReplyDeleteA) I love seeing pictures of my girls on your blog. They're famous now!
ReplyDelete2) You should read (or listen to with your new app) Pres. Uchtdorf's talk Forget Me Not from Oct. 2011, the one where he says: I want to tell you something that I hope you will take in the right way: God is fully aware that you and I are not perfect. Let me add: God is also fully aware that the people you think are perfect are not.
And C) Make a list of every little blessing you see. Whatever you focus on seems to multiply, so until you start thinking about how blessed you are, you'll keep thinking about how much more blessed other people are than you (which isn't true).
Are you kidding? This is the 3rd time I've tried to do this. What a dumb thing I'm using. Anyway. Read Pres. Uchtdorf's conference talk from Oct. 2011, Forget Me Not, the one where he says: I want to tell you something that I hope you will take in the right way: God is fully aware that you and I are not perfect. Let me add: God is also fully aware that the people you think are perfect are not.
ReplyDeleteAlso, make a list of all of your blessings. Whatever we focus on multiplies a. So if you focus on your blessings, they will multiply, as will other people's blessings, if you focus on it.
Tara, you're awesome. I wish I was brave and didn't just post the happy Nora stuff on my blog. Not comparing is SO hard. Eric and I work so hard and so much and it still feels like we are behind everyone. It doesn't seem fair but it helps to remind myself it (by that I mean school and being poor for us) won't last forever. Someday something will change. I try to notice the little changes as they come (we got a barbeque a few weeks ago...stable adult families have barbeques so it's progress right?!). I also remind myself how much farther we are now than we were a year ago or two years ago etc. I also remind myself that we are still young. It's hard to be patient and most days I fail at it but then I tell myself to wait till we're both 30+ and then reevaluate.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, thanks for the post. I was feeling a little lonely this Memorial Day with Eric and work and me home with Nora and a baby I watch during the week who's parents are off playing today. It helps to remember I'm not the only one who struggles.
Oh, and the dresser looks awesome. I have an old little dresser I want to redo this summer.